This week on «Wait, So is this a Date?» we’re accompanied by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and
L Keyword
specialist
Riese Bernard
to talk about: The Chart. Yes it’s true! This event is all about lesbian interconnectivity â connecting with pals’ exes, buddies hooking up with this exes, and also the society developed by everything drama.
Arrive when it comes down to news, stay for all the emotional control. And before that enjoy a game that examinations Christina’s limits: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she typically would not.)
Thank you for the wonderful comments after all of our premier! When you haven’t however think about providing us with a rating or evaluate!
PROGRAM NOTES
+ Five years ago Riese make an
Old Hollywood data
that’s the intersection of most my personal interests.
+ Here’s
the article
We reference in which I mention starting up with my roommates.
+ My personal crush of few days Mj Rodriguez circulated a songs video on her behalf track
«something you should Say»
!
+ As someone who has only seen a number of periods of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush of this few days C.C. Babcock was surprising for me whenever it ended up she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina informs me they fundamentally however are.)
Drew:
I would personally be really okay with-it current. I’d never ever include somebody else without their own permission. Nevertheless thought of each and every time someone ended up being like, «concur that you will be connected to me personally,» I’d end up like, «Yeah, this is the life I’ve lived. I really don’t care about.» Is that weird? Would be that a problem?
Christina:
No, since if I becamen’t, i’d feel terrible not. I would personally end up like, «hold off, I am not lying?»
Theme track plays
Drew:
Hi, I’m Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I’m Christina.
Drew:
And welcome to
Wait, So Is This A Night Out Together?
Christina:
Hold Off, So Is This A Night Out Together?
is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the big concerns. To start with, could it possibly be a date? Exactly what are times? That are times? Can we like dates? These are the types of concerns that individuals address on this subject here extremely specialist and lovely podcast.
Drew:
My name is Drew Gregory. I am a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
My name is Christina Tucker. I am also an author at Autostraddle. I’m a loud queer on the internet. I’m getting better at describing me as an author and, famously, a lesbian. That’s all of us. That’s exactly who our company is.
Drew:
Yeah. And so our very own main subject this week is The Chart.
Christina:
I just thought it needed a sting. I’m not sure. That believed truly dramatic, but i do believe it needed it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, please, kindly. Many thanks, thanks a lot. No, no, no. The correct level of crisis.
Christina:
Many thanks.
Drew:
Yeah. So we’re writing about lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
I love that term since it feels like you ought to resume the lesbians. It sounds like net connection is not functioning.
Drew:
Yes. it is extremely advanced level, really innovative, but in addition has been in existence since there’s been lesbians, i believe.
Christina:
Yeah. In my opinion students will say when they found the most important lesbian fossils, they discovered a data alongside ones created to the mud. And I believe’s what that motion picture is approximately, correct? It’s about the information? That movie with Kate Winslet in addition to mud fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that’s what it is more about.
Drew:
If only
Ammonite
was about cave ladies. I’d watch that lesbian flick.
Christina:
Well, as I have not viewed it, i’ll courageously say that it actually was. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Because it’s like there is so many lesbian duration parts, but we have never eliminated back that much. And that I think it’s time we would.
Christina:
Why don’t we just hold using it further back in its history.
Drew:
Before we get to your major topic, you are nevertheless observing you. And I also felt that it would be enjoyable to relax and play a casino game for which you guys could really familiarize yourself with Christina. So all of our icebreaker with this week is actually slightly online game that we name «Would U-Haul.»
Christina:
I am, once again, so pressured about any of it. This could you should be ways I come in to the video game. This might be my video game mindset, some high key, somewhat stressed. Which is fine. We’re all understanding.
Drew:
In my opinion that’s great. I think that move you to more vulnerable, maybe.
Christina:
Certainly one of the best emotions.
Drew:
Just a horror, only a serious horror. And so the method in which «Would U-Haul» really works is i will explain a scenario. Why don’t we call-it Christina enthusiast fiction. And I’m gonna pause after each and every little area to-be similar, «Okay, Christina, I’m sure which you have never ever lived with somebody, don’t want to accept somebody. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?»
Christina:
And I also will possibly say yes or we’ll state, «I’m prepared.»
Drew:
Unless you â well, we are going to see here. But I’m excited. I do believe I maybe cracked the rule.
Christina:
You have damaged the rule? I’m excited.
Drew:
Why don’t we see how long this requires. Assuming you won’t ever do, In my opinion you win? I’m not sure exactly how you will find champions here.
Christina:
I’m not sure that we now have champions during the video game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Really, I don’t know in the event that you’ll go along with that after this. So I’m going to get heading.
Christina:
Fair adequate.
Drew:
Okay. Therefore, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You’re at your friend’s marriage. Inspite of the multitude of romcoms you consumed, you did not choose this marriage thinking you’ll fulfill anyone because, well, this is not a romcom. This is the real and typical life of Christina Grace Tucker. You adopt your own designated chair and so are glancing at your telephone whenever you recognize a female at the table is looking at you. She introduces by herself since your pal’s former baby-sitter. She actually is stayed a pal for the family, but she does not truly know anyone there. She appears like mid-forties and also a striking angular face. You set about talking. She proposes to allow you to get a drink. Once she compares, you recognize she actually is six legs tall, 6â² 3â³ in heels. And that means you know what? I am simply planning to stop there and become love, now, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I’m intrigued. I’m fascinated because i may get laid during this marriage. But so far I’m not U-Hauling anywhere.
Drew:
Cool. That’s completely fair. Completely reasonable. Okay. Which means you spend whole wedding observing one another. There is only a sudden spark and instant biochemistry. And indeed, you are doing hook-up in addition to intercourse is actually incredible.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
And so this marriage was in Northern California. And that means you both extend your stays for a few times to screw and check out and eat at restaurants and shag. And also you supply to separate the cost of the today shared area, but she laughs you down and is like, «demonstrably maybe not, honey.» Therefore the after that 3 days are secret. You feel your wall space tumbling straight down. You are dropping faster than you ever have actually. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
So simply for quality’s benefit, I’m having trouble picturing some sort of where we took three surprise times away from work to hang out with someone i actually do maybe not know. That looks bonkers. However, if i did so, best for me. But I’m simply not U-Hauling at this point. It’s going to be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. That is good. You just met. I get it. I have it. Okay.
Christina:
Thank-you much.
Drew:
So she comes back to New York therefore go back to Philadelphia.
Christina:
That’s where I reside.
Drew:
And you’re texting always. That is where you are living plus its where this girl lives. And you’re texting always and you see each other many times monthly. She is extremely hectic with her task, but she actually is quick purchasing you a train pass to help you appear see their and stay at her beautiful brownstone in Fort Greene. Following 6 months go. Plus one night when you are over to meal, she requires you to move in along with her. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And proceed to New York? Really don’t love New York. No, I’m not transferring from the 6 months mark. I’m not performing that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Completely, completely, completely. Wow. Okay. And that means you hold online dating cross country. She knows that you will need some time and she is ready to await you. More several months pass. Its now been over a-year. Your own landlord informs you that they are attempting to sell your home to a developer who is setting up apartments, you can not renew it. You’ll want to get a hold of another location. Your own today gf informs you that no pressure, but her present however stands. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. At this stage, i’d U-Haul for a couple of factors.
Drew:
Yay! Ok. Kindly tell us.
Christina:
Mostly, in a global for which my landlord sold the house in order to develop it, my property owner happens to be my personal closest friend, so seems like one thing went incorrect within friendship. And I must only leave Philadelphia anyway. Incase I get to go in with my girlfriend over here, that looks great. That’s great. Completely great. But yeah, In my opinion i may require an external force like a mean property owner.
Drew:
That is therefore â okay. I did so think you might have to require housing attain here, and so I’m grateful I understood that.
Christina:
Yeah. Which is exactly what needs to accidentally myself 1st.
Drew:
Well, i am grateful to know what it takes. Very theoretically, if you weren’t knocked away, just how much more time?
Christina:
Honestly, that may went on for a long time. Philly and ny are not even that definately not one another. I obtained space over right here. We’re jumping back and forth. We’re having good times. I really could have let that roll for a long period until i suppose Shoshana becomes the worst individual i am aware.
Drew:
I didn’t understand that Shoshana owned your house. Really, there you go.
Christina:
There we go. Wow, that has been exciting.
Drew:
Well, many thanks for playing.
Christina:
I’m stressed, are obvious.
Drew:
And I also’m pleased that i understand⦠perhaps in case you are ever, anytime anybody’s ever dating you and desires that move around in, perhaps your girl informed Shoshana to market our home for the sake of your union.
Christina:
Genuinely the fastest method â some body would simply have to speak with Shoshana and stay similar, «only kick the lady completely.» Right after which she’d wind up as, «Yeah, positive. Needless to say.» That will be the way it occurred, even if she didn’t sell the home. Someone would you need to be like, «Could you just stop her away very she’ll simply conquer it and move in beside me?» And she’d state yes. One hundred percent she’d accomplish that. That is what friendship is actually.
Drew:
I enjoy that.
Christina:
Yeah, which is actually beautiful.
Drew:
Really, I believe like we discovered a whole lot about you.
Christina:
Thank You. I feel like I discovered a large amount about myself, too. Threat of homelessness is actually the matter that keeps me personally transferring any circumstance, i assume. Wow.
Drew:
Well, that’s fantastic.
Christina:
That has been truly fascinating. I’m similarly happy to move into our very own primary portion because I think making reference to lesbian connection with this particular guest, because of this unique guest, In my opinion it will be amazing, Drew. How have you been experiencing?
Drew:
I’m so thrilled. This can be an expert. And also by that, i am talking about an
L Word
expert, but a little bit of specialized in the topic accessible.
Christina:
I think two things may be true, my good friend. In my opinion two things is real certainly. Can we need introduce all of our visitor or can we desire our visitor introducing themselves?
Drew:
I would love our visitor to introduce herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I’ll point out that the guest may be the one and only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, communicate.
Riese:
Hi, I Am Riese. As well as being unusual become the visitor!
Christina:
Yeah, really.
Riese:
I had to not state something. I did not also exercise. Used to do say circumstances. I had to sit down here calmly.
Christina:
Therefore had been really courageous. And your confronts were valued.
Riese:
Thanks a lot a great deal.
Christina:
Though it is obviously a sound method, I want all of our audience to know that Riese had been making some great response confronts during «Would U-Haul.»
Riese:
There is many ways becoming heard. Guess what happens What i’m saying is? That’s what i state. I’m the Chief Executive Officer of Autostraddle.com. And I’m in addition on an undefeated kickball staff. And that is me. We have a dog named Carol. And that I have dated folks.
Christina:
Congrats on the kickball!
Riese:
Thank-you. I have been a part of men and women.
Christina:
Great. Adoring that. That is fantastic to create to this, this here online dating podcast. Which is excellent.
Riese:
Yeah. In my opinion that⦠will there be anything?
Drew:
No, i do believe which is fantastic, Riese.
Christina:
Whatever you desire to discuss.
Riese:
I enjoy raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and pools.
Christina:
As opposed toâ¦
Riese:
You Are Sure That when someone goes likeâ¦
Drew:
It is like as soon as you blow. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those are gross, thus I merely evacuated them from my brain.
Riese:
Yeah. And that is all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Really, we immediately considered you for this subject.
Christina:
That’s true.
Drew:
Because first of all, demonstrably, queer women and non-binary people in lesbian neighborhood have now been like, I’m not sure, sex with individuals whom their friends have experienced gender with since well before
The L Keyword
was actually actually ever a set. But i really do feel
The L Keyword
solidified a specific cultural notion of the information with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I felt like you might have some understanding of this topic.
Riese:
It really is genuine. A couple of article authors, i wish to say, of
The L Word
had this real data of these and their pals these were attracting throughout the wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i believe, was one of these. She spoke to us about this, they had built this. Because obviously, everyone in this author’s space had banged other individuals in blogger â you understand, while the lengthy web of this generation of lesbians in l . a .. And they also noticed can they were like, «Why don’t we place it in tv series.» And a few of these are on the chart. Like, some people who ⦠like, real folks are regarding the chart as a tale.
Christina:
Which is incredible. Which is the manner in which you know you have made it.
Riese:
Isn’t that attractive?
Christina:
That could be exciting for me.
Riese:
And thus when you haven’t seen
The L Word,
first and foremost, congrats. Second of all, it will become the centerpiece of one your lead character, Alice’s, apartment. She has it all over the woman wall. And it also may be the name of an online site they started known as ourchart.com that flopped. And also the idea ⦠and it’s really during the pilot, i do believe. When you look at the very first event, Alice starts writing about how everyone’s connected, because everyone’s hooked up because of this individual. And I also can link you, as you’re most likely a maximum of two levels far from myself. And that had been true. Like, despite having Dana, who’d very restricted experience because she was a closeted tennis member, they nonetheless had the ability to connect this lady. And that is real world since it is genuine.
Christina:
That is tradition. Yeah. That’s what society appears to be.
Riese:
That is tradition. That is queer society immediately. Now every person helps make their particular charts.
Christina:
Yeah. So that would definitely be my personal next question, was actually have actually either people made a chart? Because I really don’t believe i’ve, I am also method of now thinking like, what was this last year resting within my home for if I did not make a chart? Like, that was the point of that, actually?
Riese:
I believe i have completed it in my record, just like like ⦠Because i prefer, I am not sure, arranging details, i assume, as a thought physical exercise.
Christina:
Yeah, In my opinion that’s in addition exactly why Im surprised that I haven’t accomplished it. I love the idea of categorizing things.
Riese:
Appropriate. Yeah. Because it’s interesting. I am not sure precisely why it really is therefore interesting, however it is. It is interesting become like, wow, all of these people, they may be linked. It’s crazy.
Drew:
Regarding the show, once ourchart.com is conceived, they’ve a real chart that individuals can also add stuff. And I also feel something that you joked when it comes to on
To L and Right Back,
nowadays folks say all the time is much like, if this existed in an actual means, no one would place their own brands onto it, not one person would feel comfortable placing their particular names about it.
Riese:
You’ll.
Drew:
I’d. I might be really good along with it present. I’d never ever include another person without their particular authorization. But the notion of love, each and every time some one ended up being like, «Confirm that you may be connected to myself,» I’d wind up as, «Yeah, it is the life I’ve stayed. I don’t worry about.» Is that weird? Is difficulty?
Christina:
No, since if I becamen’t, I would personally feel poor not being ⦠I would be like, «hold off, I am not about it? Like, I’m sorry, exactly what?» No, that could in fact deliver me into lighting moral panic about which i will be as a person, the things I’m carrying out. Are we interesting? Would men and women {like